July 2008
13 posts
Wall-E Review
well. I really liked this and found it good. However, I doubt children will like it.
Disney is in trouble and could only afford voice acting for a quarter of this film. Kids ain’t gonna like that. Also, the story is very timely and political. So much so that kids will not like this.
VERDICT:
8.2/10
I got the Jesus phone!
holy shit I am typing this on a phone!
WatchI play another PS3 demo, “Battle Fantasia”. It’s…….well…a mixed bag.
WatchHigh blood pressure ensues with the insertion of the disc. Enjoy.
Trauma Center: Under the Knife 2 Review
This is what you call an amazing game. I think we Northern Americans have been eating a can of whoop-ass that was made in Japana all year now. First they do Persona 3 FES, then MGS4, and now TC: UTK2. Shit, we American developers are screwed. (Especially when you consider the fact that our only possible salvation at this point is Gears of War II or Call of Duty 5. And here is the problem:...
THEY ANNOUNCED AN NTSC RELEASE OF PERSONA 4!
DID YOU READ THE TITLE?!? WE ARE GETTING PERSONA 4 IN AMERICA PEOPLE! HOW SICK IS THAT! OH MY GOD, I AM GONNA GO PLAY THROUGH FES AGAIN NOW! OH, HOLY SHIT, THIS MADE MY DAY!
GB Games; A Store In Green bay Review
Holy buckets, this store sold me a $60 game for $35 and had the Gears of War Limited Edition for $20, which last time I checked retails for $70. Go to this store, makeout with the owner because of his low game proces and then spend your life savings.
WatchWell, I really have no idea what possesed these people do to this. I mean, who in hell builds a non-reinforced bridge with huge-ass golf carts riding on it every day ON WETLANDS? I mean, did they really think it would be stable?
Heritage Links Golf Course Review
Well, its….yeah. My dad use to play it when it was new, and it must have been a lot better, as now it isn’t all that great. Listen well kiddies, you don’t build a golf course, or anything for that matter, on wetlands. Mother Nautre no likey. Want some examples? Um, Ridgedale Mall, as featured in movie of recent fame “Juno”. Why did they randomly remodel? Why is it a...
Free Music with D (A New...
“As Icons of My Youth Fall Silent”
Jonathan Mann
-This song is cool, and if you like games,you should be able to pick up some neat refrences. Really good song.
http://gamejew.com/?q=node/60
Entire album, “I Don’t Know What I Am Doing”
Brad Sucks
-I already mentioned this, but if you haven’t already downloaded it, please do. Just go to the store, and...
Forest Fruit Tea Variety From Indigo Tea Shop
It sounds kind of like an internet mash-up video, except that this is actually good. (Go screw yourslef Soulja Boy). It smells awesome and the taste actually follows through. However, you will have to buy this loose-leaf , so, be sure to get some of your own bags. Also, don’t let it steep for too long our the tea will probably over power the fruit.
...
June 2008
40 posts
So...About My Game
I am working on a way to get you guys availability to download it. Anywho, here are the titles and descriptions (brief) of games I will be releasing before the date of August 20th. (That is the goal I have set. Note: some of these are already out.)
XTREME! Blood-Loss: MEGA Funhouse?
-None of you believe me, but this game is an interesting commentary of the politics of our time, and the...
LZ Freak's Sports Report Link →
LZ Freak's Sports Report Review Retraction...
I kid, I kid. I do like his blog, so I hereby reinstate my original review with the same score.
VERDICT:
9/10
LZ Freak's Sports Report Review Retraction
He won’t shut the hell up about his score so here you go LZ:
VERDICT:
-10/10
P.S.
Never ask me to compromise my journalistic integrity.
LZ Freak's Sports Report
Wow. Just w- shit, second time I have used that intro tonight and more than fifth in my life total probably. Anyways, my bud advises you on sports and sports world in minutes rather than hours watching ESPN. And he doesn’t mention absurd sports like Pony Archery Dodgeball in Water on a Cruise Ship, like ESPN does. He manages to give you thne best the sports world has to offer in a page a...
Games Of the Year You Should Own
I figured since we are halfway throught the year, I would make an update advising you to buy the best games that have come out for every platform this year.
PC- The Ship
DS- The World Ends With You
PSP-Patapon
PS2-Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3 FES
PS3-Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
360-Lost Oddyessey
Wii-No More Heroes/Okami (They are both good)
Matisyahu @ The Minnesota Zoo Concert Review
Wow. Just wo- oh wait, used that intro before didn’t I? For those not in the mix, Matisyahu is a Hasidic, basically Orthodox Jewish rapper/reggae guy. He even uses his mouth to beatbox as in the videos below.
The best songs of the night were “Close My Eyes”, “Jerusalem”, “Exaltation”, and of course “King Without a Crown”.
It is pretty...
WatchWell…Hasidic Jewish Reggae Rap Pt. 2, at the zoo. (Hey that kinda rhymed!)
WatchHe is a great reggae artist, but the beatboxing puts him on an entirely new level.
WatchI ate at Perkins and the menu said I could get my cheeseburger where it was applicable by law. I am not crapping you.
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 F.E.S.
Holy F***ing shit. This is gonna tie MGS4 for best game of the year. This is easily one of the best RPGs I have ever played, because, the story is phenomenal, and not only does it innovate on hundreds of levels, but it alos perfects every element of the genre to a crisp. Buy this game, it is only thirty bucks and it is for PS2, which pretty much everyone has.
...
Get Smart Review
Ah. “The Office”. A rip off of a movie, wqhich ripped off a British Show. It is pretty good. And Steve Carrel does a great job playing a bumbling idiot. How does that translate to a remake as old as my friend Jimmy’s dad’s jokes? PRETTY NOT SO NICELY KIND OF SORT OF.
This movie suffers from the same thing the even crappier “Johnny English” suffered...
WatchSummer is boring. No games, no movies, and you can’t even walk to the sandwich shop without getting heatstroke. So what do I review, imported games! And I tell you what games are worth your hard earned cash!
Weeds Season 3 Blu-ray Review
Well, if you haven’t already seen the show, you probably never will. For anyone in the audience who has seen this show and Arrested Development, I congratulate you on being the one person in the audience with a brain.
VERDICT:
9/10
EDITIOR’S CHOICE (OR GET IT ON DVD, NOTE...
I Don't Know What I Am Doing by Brad Sucks Review
So I was tipped off to this by Jonathan Coulton in a post on his site. So I figured I would listen to it. Good stuff. Really is, indie music at its best try it. You can have the entire album for FREE. Just click here, my favorite track is the first one or “I think I started a Trend”. To download the album, participate in a Radiohead-esque thing and name your price as $0.
...
My Game= Finished
After some development, I am proud to announce Pizza Delivery: Apocalypse is done. Contact me for getting it.
Metal Gear Solid 4 Review
Everyone that isn’t Kojima Productions who made this game should sto making games. Right now. They should just make remakes of this until someone thinks of a sequel.
VERDICT:
BESTGAMEEVERMADE/10
AWARDS:
BEST GAME EVER MADE
...
Pacman: Championship Edition Review
Wow. This took a while to get around to. So, here’s the scoop, the is the first new authorized Pacman game by creator….No one cares, I am guessing. I mean, about the history lesson.
Basically, it is the best thing downloadable X360 games have. (Some people would say Undertow is, I would tell them to screw themselves as that game is a medicore piece of shit and I would argue...
Passage Review
Well, first the Indie Gaming blog featured it, then Kotaku, now GameJew, so suppose I should. It is short. But funny. And somewhat ironic. And sad. But good. Check it out. Like google “Passage game”. You should get some links.
VERDICT:
7/10
Indigo Tea - A Tea Shop / Tea House Review
Well, needed some tea. Good tea. Loose leaf tea. I am sure half of you don’t know what the hell it is, but it is tea that doesn’t come in bags. But, since I am a lazy fatass I got mini bags to put it in. Good times.
The service was nice, and they actually let you smell the teas, which is good. (You see, people that know nothing about tea, you always want to smell the tea for...
Ninja Gaiden II
Well, I decided to take the high road today and save the extreme bashing until further in the review. Don’t worry, this is still a good game.
Well, here’s the thing. The fighting is REALLY intense. And there is a lot of it, but well balanced. It isn’t like you are fighting the same guys every second. And it is a lot like Sigma and Black in the sense that it adds nothing...
ROM Check Fail Review
This is an indie game, but great. It is simplistic, yet complicated. Check it out for sure. I mean, it is neat and a great daytime distraction to be able to just put it down after five mins. And every experience is different. It is like randomly generated dungeons in RPGs. Only it isn’t repetitive….and sucky. Here’s looking at you, JRPGS.
...
Kung Fu Panda Review
May sound shocking, but as good or better than most Pixar movies. Unlike Pixar which appeals only to American audiences, this has good global appeal, and actually nails a lot of the cultural elements about China. Overall, it was really entertaining. Definetely check it out.
VERDICT:
8.4/10
To All- Eat It
Hey,
I figured I would ay I am going to begin SERIOUS internal development, as in MONTHS on XBLMF II. (XTREME! Blood-Loss; MEGA Funhouse? II) And yes, it actually well be about politics and the reprucusions of dependence on foreign oil and the potential of not dealing with present problems. No I am not kidding.
Poll thingy.
As a diversion because I know you all hat me and my beatiful site, click on the poll thing to be…um….polled?
Grand Theft Auto IV Review (RETRACTION)
I haven’t really ever retracted a review. But I am. Right now. Suck it. Mainstream media= PWNT.
The game’s aiming system sucks. I mean close your freakin’ eyes and you have as much of chance as hitting the person you are “aiming at”.
The driving. Did the really need to put in a DUI sequence in the game? BECAUSE I COULD SWEAR THE DRIVING MECHANICS ARE SO BAD YOU...
WatchFilmed in Goldeneye Source. Pretty funny. And my mic sucks.
Battlefield: Bad Company Review
CONVERSATION ABOUT CALL OF DUTY 4
COD4 Fan-THIS GAME LOOKS AMAZING!
ME-Um, yeah Killzone or Uncharted looks better..I mean, it just runs at 60 FPS (frames per second) and I guess that makes it look okay….
COD4- AND THE MULTIPLAYER! IT LETS YOU PUT SILENCERS ON THE GUNS!
ME-Well, Marathon Durandal in the 90s had that too….I mean this game is just a mashup….I mean COD2 was...
Operation Darkness Review
This game is a lot like a tub of mud. The graphics are about as bad as a tub of mud and the game is about as much fun as wading through a tub of mud. In short, it is an X360 game from Japan about a ragtag group of British GIRLS and Boys who can turn into werewolves hunting down zombie Nazis in WWII. Yes, I am not joking. Japan is really bad at the World War II genre. I mean, first the made a...
Bourne Conspiracy (the game) Review
Wow. Just wow. I mean wow. Like really wow. I mean wow…..Wow. I mean REALLY wow. WOW. Wowzers. Like super wow. Maybe mega wow. I don’t now which is greater but wow.
THIS GAME SUCKS BALLS!
I MEAN IT JUST IS LIKE YOUR GUN IS A RETARDED FAT PERSON GIVING A SPEECH WHILE EATING OILED FRITOS! IT SPRAYS EVERYWHERE! THE HAND TO HAND COMBAT IS LIKE “STREET FIGHTER: THE TODDLER...
Badasssssss! Review
I know. Anyways, I am home sick and like that one song, there is 1,000 channels, but nothing on. And if you count my TiVo it is like tow universes merged like in some shitty sci-fi novel, so there was technically like 5,000 galaxies of channels and still nothing on. And then one of those crappy independent movie channels started showing this flick so I watched. It chronicles the making of...
How to Install XTREME
1)Download the file
2)Unzip it (right-click and find extract all)
3) Find the picture of the controller and click
4)Viola! You are playing the best video game ever made!
XTREME Blood Loss: MEGA Funhouse; STANDARD... →
I know it is a long title. I will create a post with the install instructions momentairly.
WatchFigured I would post my glorious game in action as I yank out every last piece of my hair to figure out how to package it.
Watch I figured for such an epic map, I would need to step up my review.